A few years ago, my pastor preached a sermon with the above title - "Fighting The Big 'O'." Basically, he was admonishing us not to get offended too easily. I'm reminding myself of that today. I feel very frustrated - like I'm stuck in neutral, revving the engine but not engaging anything. I feel like I'm being passed up for things I think I am ready for and should be doing, and to mix metaphors, I feel like I'm only playing on the practice squad. And, frankly, I'm getting my poor little feelings hurt.

Ultimately, it's pretty pathetic, and when I back away from it, I realize it. But that doesn't make it any better. I feel frustrated because I'm not doing things for God that I want to be doing. I recognize that I'm still paying for bad decisions made years ago. I recognize that my temperment is part of my problem and I need to work it out. But at the same time, I see where some of my friends are in ministry, and I want to be there. I long to do more than I do now, and I don't feel like I'm making progress.

I don't want to get bitter. I recognize that this is where the roots of bitterness can come from. I want to have a better attitude and to just do what I'm asked to do in the right attitude.

There's a quote - 'I don't always know what the right thing to do is, my Lord, but I think the fact that I want to please You pleases You' - that I feel like applies to this situation quite well. I don't want to have a bad attitude. I don't want to let that creep into my heart. I don't want to sin, ironically, over my frustrations with how I can serve Him. I don't want to be offended, I don't want to be bitter, and I want to be a better Christian.