lyrics - "this my soul" by the gray havens

A voice came and spoke to the silence
The words took on beauty and form
The form took its shape as a garden was born
Then man from the dust came reflecting
All goodness and beauty and life
But he lowered his gaze
As he listened to the face of low desires 

This my soul you were born
You were born into
What this man has done
It all extends to you
Let the words shake on down along your spine
And ring out true that you might find new life 

The voice came and swords blocked the garden
None could return with their lives
A curse there was placed upon every man to face
For all of time
No wisdom of man or rebellion
Could deliver new life out of death
But the voice with the curse
Spoke a promise that the word would take on flesh 

This my soul you were born
You were born into
What this man has done
It all extends to you
Let the words shake on down along your spine
And ring out true that you might find 

Then the perfect son of man
Took the place the voice had planned
Since the garden and before
He took the swords and cursed the grave
There’s nothing more to separate us from the promise
The words of a living hope

And this my soul you were born
You were born into
What this man has done
It all extends to you
Let the words shake on down along your spine
And ring out true that you might find

I love good music. I love great lyrics. I love Christian music that shares the gospel. This song - and this band - have occupied my mind and imagination for the past several weeks. 

The Arrogance of Impatience

Abraham had a promise from God - he would have a son. God made a covenant with Abraham, and Abraham, in his own mind, didn't understand how God was going to fulfill His end of the deal. So, in his own wisdom, Abraham and his wife took matters into their own hands: Abraham took advantage of a pagan custom of the day and bedded Sarah's servant, Hagar, and she gave birth to Ishmael.

Of course, in His time and in His way, God fulfilled His promise to Abraham, and Sarah did have a child - Isaac. The descendants of Isaac are the Jews - the Children of Israel - and the descendants of Ishmael are the Muslims. And for thousands of years, these two nations, these two families, these two brothers, have been at odds with each other.

I am an impatient person. At this moment, I'm waiting on news about a promotion and transfer at work. I have to wait another seven hours for the news, and I'm going nuts. I want to grill everyone who might have any idea about it and find out what I can. I want to talk about it and speculate about it, and have everyone on my side tell me why I'm a shoe-in; I want everyone who doesn't think I'll get it to enumerate the reasons why someone else is better qualified for the job. I will obsess over this issue for the rest of my shift until I find out.

I'm okay with the answer - I have a contingency plan and I'm confident in my future in the company. But I just want to know.

I've been in and out of church. I've walked away from and back to God a number of times. But about two years ago, I was broken in my own sin. I came back to the Church, and to Jesus, and basically said, "I give up." When I came back, I never thought I'd be in a position of leadership or ministry again. I didn't want to get into a teaching or preaching position. The fascination and the curiosity were gone. I wasn't interested, and even if I was, I was sure that I had screwed up too grandly and too deeply to ever be used of God again.

After about a year, though, God started using me again. It was little things - He started using me in the gifts that I'd been used in before. That curiosity returned. The fervor for the Word and for teaching. My conversations with friends changed, and I began to spend time in the Scripture and asking questions and doing research and thinking and studying. My writing and journaling and unfocused musings changed to thinking about Jesus and serving people and seeing people saved.

So now I have the fire I had before. I have the desire to teach and preach that I had before. And while there's always the nagging doubts of Satan telling me how bad I am, how far I fell, how much I don't deserve God's grace and the opportunity to minister (and he's right!), I have another voice telling me "The latter glory of this house will be greater than the former." I have a pastor who tells me that I can't imagine what God will do with me, and that there's no time in these latter days for soldiers to sit on the sidelines, full of misgivings and doubts.

I believe again. I'm ready to serve, ready to fight. But God says "Not yet."

I want to make things happen by force of will. I want to move the ball forward by whatever means I have at my disposal. I don't want to wait, because I'm ready and eager. But God says "Not yet."

I think I know better than God. And that's arrogance. That's pride. That's sin. It's the same pride that led Abraham to sleep with Hagar. It's saying "God's ways are subject to my ways, and my plans are greater than His plans." Pride is the root of all other sins, and out of it comes idolatry. If I build a ministry by my own hand and personality and charm and charisma, who is glorified? And how much smaller will it be than if I let God direct it and plan it and lead the way?

Be patient. Be humble. Wait on the Lord.

 

NOTE: I didn’t get the promotion. There was great wailing and gnashing of teeth. I’ve gone round in circles a dozen times and tried to plan my next steps and strategy to get to where I think I want to be. Then, one day, God spoke to my heart through three different sermons and an off-the-cuff conversation with my boss and simply said “Wait.” So this blog turned out to be especially prescient.  

Redeeming Halloween

Every year at this time, I marvel at the irony in the annual “Christians v. Secularists” battle about naming and usage of holidays. The big two, of course, are Halloween and Christmas. Leave it to Evangelical Christianity to reject Halloween – an historically Christian holiday – and embrace Christmas, a pagan holiday co-opted by early Christian leaders. I just want to make a few comments in this regard.

First, Halloween. The name “Halloween” is derived from the phrase “All Hallows Eve”, which precedes November 1, All Hallows Day (or All Saints Day). This name dates back to the 16th century; All Hallows Eve can be found in records dating in 1556. Historically, on this day, the Church would have a feast to remember initially the martyrs, but the celebration was expanded to include the celebration of all the saints who had died. This celebration dates back to 609 B.C. and Pope Boniface IV.

The practice of Trick-or-Treating dates back to the Middle Ages, known as “guising,” where the poor would travel from home to home, asking for food in exchange for prayers for the dead. The threat of “trick-or-treat” calls back to Celtic tradition, where people would leave out treats to placate evil spirits. If a home didn’t provide a treat, it ran the risk of suffering the wrath of those spirits. Trick-or-treating first appeared in the U.S. in 1911, but rose to prominence in the 1950s.

I never heard this about Halloween until I was an adult. Even in my mid-twenties, I heard stories about the occult and witchcraft and the evils of Halloween. The church I was then attending held an annual “Harvest Party” (a pagan celebration indeed!) as an “alternative” to Halloween.

It’s a shame that this holiday – which I believe we should observe (in the traditional sense) – has been hijacked by us. There’s nothing evil about Halloween, and there’s nothing wrong with dressing up and celebrating the day. I’m a new father, and this year my six-month-old will be going Trick-or-Treating. I’m looking forward to the treats he receives. As he gets older, I intend to spend time with him teaching about the significance of the day, but encouraging him to enjoy the fun.

BOOK REVIEW - Churched (and e-book giveaway)

churched, jesus needs new PR, matthew, paul, turner, MPT, book, review, christian, christianity, baptist, methodist, pentecostal, apostolic, jesus, blog, post, book, review, giveaway, kindle, ereader, ipad, technology, free For anyone who grew up in evangelical Christianity, reading the stories of Matthew Paul Turner (Twitter link) will bring the memories flooding back. His funny storytelling, weaving tales of his childhood as he tells his story of spiritual growth and development.

I first came to know of MPT through his blog, Jesus Needs New PR, where MPT posts some of the absurdities of the very diverse, very amusing body of Christ. He pushes the envelope and holds some views that, undoubtedly, people will find offensive, but he's always raising a serious point - if these are the people who are supposed to be representing Christ in this world, then, seriously, Jesus needs new PR.

At any rate, I downloaded Churched: One Kid's Journey Toward God Despite a Holy Mess onto my Kindle, and while I didn't read it straight through, I did open it from time to time - usually in the evenings before bed - to read a chapter or two and have a good laugh.

MPT begins his memoir by recounting the story of moving from a Methodist church to a Fundamental Baptist Church. As he said, "[Mom] and Dad had come to the conclusion that God wasn't attending our old church and it didn't make sense to go to a place even God didn't want to go to." Funny stuff.

Churched is a great read. I definitely recommend it. Below are a couple of excerpts that I found especially hilarious:

On the Second Coming:

The way we saw things, it didn't matter that God had created the heavens and the earth--he did not want us excited about living here. A good fundamentalist worth his weight in guilt was quick to remind any skeptic that the world was going to hell in a handbasket.

On Clean Living:

I did learn on thing about having Jesus as a bodily tenant: he would not tolerate cigarette smoke. Mr. Parsons, the assistant pastor in charge of children's ministries, made that perfectly clear.

"Do you want to give Jesus cancer?" His voice was gruff and he put his hands on his hips. "Well, do you? Think about it, young people. Do you want to be the person responsible for giving God's Son cancer? Or how about emphysema?"

After his talk, Mr. Parsons stood at the door, shook our hands, and gave us Hershey bars. Jesus didn't mind getting fat.

On Salvation:

"Matthew Turner was one of two boys who asked Jesus into their hearts this morning," said Pastor Nolan during the announcements at church. "Four years old! Wow. I wish I'd known Jesus when I was four. Imagine what kind of Christian he's going to be when he becomes an adult. Can't wait to see that."

Again, it's a great book. You can buy it on Amazon.com for Kindle or in paper. For those of you who have a Kindle (or a Kindle app) and would like to read Churched, I have a single copy I can share. Comment on this blog and let me know, and we'll work to get the copy sent to you.

Book Review: "Imaginary Jesus" by Matt Mikalatos

imaginary, jesus, matt, mikalatos, cs lewis, gk chesterton, smart, fantasy, imagination, christian, christianity, fiction, novel, portland, allegory, humor, If you know me, you know I like free books. I also like gadgets. So when Matt Mikalatos (Twitter link) tweeted that he was giving away digital copies of his book Imaginary Jesus, I thought, "What the heck? I'll check it out." I read the first chapter (Chapter Zero, for those of you keeping count), and I was hooked. In this fun combination of personal memoir, allegory, and fantasy fiction, Matt is at a yuppie vegan cafe in Portland with flesh-and-blood Jesus when a guy named Pete approaches and punches him in the face. Read the scene:

"That--" Pete pointed out the window at the racing back of my Lord--"that was an imaginary Jesus, my friend. And now that we're on to him, he's going to run."

I crossed my arms and frowned. "I've known Jesus for a long time. What makes you think that you know him better than I do?"

"Because," Pete said, heading for the door, "I'm the Apostle Peter."

I won't lie - this is a strange story. But it's brilliant. Matt's writing is in the same vein as C.S. Lewis in A Pilgrim's Regress, but not on the same level (sorry Matt - you're good, but not that good). But the story in terrific. With the help of the Apostle Peter, a former prostitute, a talking donkey, and Mary, Matt takes on his Imaginary Jesus, and battles it out with other Imaginary Jesuses in the process, to find the true Jesus of Nazareth and begin to really understand Christianity.

Other Jesuses we meet are King James Jesus (quite the strict one - "It was centuries before he even allowed New King James Jesus to exist."), Liberal Social Services Jesus ("He thinks the best way to tell people about God is through service, because he never talks about God. He's great to have around because he keeps the place spotless."), Conservative Truth-Telling Jesus ("He has no arms. He thinks the only way to tell people about God is through hard truth, and he never raises a hand to help people with their physical needs."), Magic 8-ball Jesus (who has twenty replies: ten positive, five negative, and five neutral), Perpetually Angry Jesus (apparently, he's the Calvinist Jesus that Mark Driscoll worships), Testosterone Jesus (a popular men's retreat speaker), and Harley Jesus. There are more, but you need to read the book.

And, great news. The book is free through the month of February, so check out Matt's blog and download a copy. I promise, you'll enjoy it.

Book Review: The Quotable Chesterton

G, K, Chesterton, GK Chesterton, G. K. Chesterton, G K Chesterton, Gilbert, Keith, Kevin Belmonte, Kevin, Belmonte, book, review, wit, witty, funny, humor, wisdom, knowledge, smart, christian, christianity, intelligent, intellect, george, bernard, shaw, book, sneeze, book sneeze, booksneeze, review, analysis, quote, quotation, theology, religion, christian, christianity, conservative, liberal, atheist, atheism, socialist, socialism G. K. (Gilbert Keith) Chesterton, a metaphorical and literal giant of his day (in addition to writing hundreds of books, poems, and essays, Chesterton stood at 6'4" and weighed 300 pounds) is still one of the most influential Christian writers of modern times. His book The Everlasting Man was key to the conversion of C. S. Lewis:

I read Chesterton's Everlasting Man and for the first time saw the whole Christian outline of history set out in a form that seemed to me to make sense. Somehow I contrived not to be too badly shaken. You will remember that I already thought Chesterton the most sensible man alive "apart from his Christianity." Now, I veritably believe, I thought - I didn't of course say; words would have revealed the nonsense - that Christianity itself was very sensible.

This book, The Quotable Chesterton, is a collection of Chesterton's quotes, organized by topic and complete with reference to the original source. This, of course, isn't meant to replace reading Chesterton's works, but rather, to provide the Chesterton fan with quotes and references to Chesterton's thoughts on a broad set of topics and themes. Some brief excerpts:

Atheism: Rossetti makes the remark somewhere, bitterly but with great truth, that the worst moment for the atheist is when he is really thankful and has nobody to thank.

Beer: Let a man walk ten miles steadily on a hot summer's day along a dusty English road, and he will soon discover why beer was invented.

Bigotry: Bigotry is an incapacity to conceive seriously the alternative to a proposition.

Cheese: Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.

Cleverness: Cleverness kills wisdom: that is one of the few sad and certain things.

Education: Without education, we are in a horrible and deadly danger of taking educated people seriously.

Politics: It is terrible to contemplate how few politicians are hanged.

Political Theory: That is my political theory: that we should make England worthy copying instead of telling everybody to copy her.

Of course, I could go on and on, but that would defeat the purpose. This is a fun book for the Chesterton fan, and a terrific reference for when you just need that quote, or a reference, or a one-liner to bring the point home. If you're interested in this book, please purchase through my Amazon Associate's link.

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Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255.

Book Review: On This Day in Christian History (and Giveaway Contest!)

On This Day in christian history, book, cover, art, coverart, book cover, cover art, book sneeze, booksneeze, book, sneeze, review, book review, christian, christianity, religion, church, history, church history, early christianity, early, robert j morgan, robert morgan, robert, morgan, brad, titus, brad titus, bltitus, bltitus.com, bradtitus.com, I recently discovered a website - BookSneeze.com - that gives away free books to, really, anyone who will blog and post a book review online.

Count me in.

So, my first book is the one pictured above - On This Day in Christian History by Robert Morgan. Morgan is a pastor in Nashville and an established author, and in this project, he has created a terrific devotional work.

It seems that On This Day is better suited to accompany one's daily devotions than to be read through, but either way, it's a valuable tome. What Morgan has done is capture the lives of Christian heroes, martyrs, and more than one completely unknown character, and to tell encouraging stories of faith, hope, accomplishment, and devotion.

Some characters I knew already, and their familiar stories were uplifting and encouraging. Others I didn't, and I was challenged by the faith and devotion of the unknown Christian heroes.

On This Day is an easy book to read, the stories are only a page long, and are terrific introductions to people who have carried the Christian message through the years and across the world.

This book is a terrific resource for teachers or preachers, providing sermon starters, illustrations, and stories of encouragement to tie in that last point perfectly. If you haven't, check out this book at Amazon.com.

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I'm giving this book, which was free for me, away to one of my readers. If you would like my copy of this book, just post a link to this blog on Twitter, Facebook, or on your blog. If you post it on your blog or Facebook, send me an email and if you mention it on Twitter, just mention me (@bltitus) in the tweet. For each mention, post, or tweet, you'll receive one entry into a drawing. I'll draw the name at the end of January and announce the winner then. Good luck!

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Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

QUOTE: What I Believe (or, Your Faith is Too Small)

madeline, l'engle, lengle, madeline l'engle, l engle, engle, l, a wrinkle in time, a, wrinkle, in, time, book, lewis, clive, staples, lewis, c, s, cs lewis, c s lewis, brad titus, brad, titus, bradley, titus, bltitus, b, l, titus, bltitus.com, bradtitus.com, christmas, joy, love, christianity, christian, religion, god, jesus, christ, jesus christ, mystery, mystery of godliness, holiness, faith, religion Madeline L'Engle:

What I believe is so magnificent, so glorious, that it is beyond finite comprehension. To believe that the universe was created by a purposeful, benign Creator is one thing. To believe that this Creator took on human vesture, accepted death and mortality, was tempted, betrayed, broken, and all for love of us, defies reason. It is so wild that it terrifies some Christians who try to dogmatize their fear by lashing out at other Christians, because tidy Christianity with all answers given is easier than one which reaches out to the wild wonder of God's love, a love we don't even have to earn.

I read L'Engle's book A Wrinkle In Time when I was in elementary school, but I feel like I need to rediscover her writings. I know she's somewhat of a universalist, but I think she was a peer and a friend of C. S. Lewis, who is my favorite author of all time.

But I like the quote - and it's a position I've been moving towards lately in some degree. Yes, there are things that we can know, but there is so much about God and eternity and life and creation that are so far beyond our comprehension and imagination ... sometimes we make Christianity too small and tidy. I have more to say on this issue, but it will have to wait for another blog post.

The Unlikely Interview - Jim Sleeva

NOTE: This was written as a project for a biography class in school. It was a privilege to spend this kind of time with Bro. Sleeva, and I'm incredibly thankful that he made himself available to me.

At first glance, Jim Sleeva is rather unassuming. He’s fifty-five, with thinning brown hair and a relaxed demeanor. While he’s dressed in a sharp grey suit, clean white shirt and a handsome tie, he strikes me as one far more comfortable in something far more casual. But upon further examination, it is easy to see that with Sleeva, there is more than meets the eye.

Sleeva has one of the busiest, most random schedules of anyone I know. When we met, Sleeva had just come from the Marion County jail, where he regularly teaches, preaches, and mentors the prisoners. Prior to the jail service, Sleeva had been at Indiana Bible College (IBC), teaching a class on foreign missions. As well as a staff instructor at IBC, Sleeva is the dorm supervisor and counselor. Since the inception of IBC twenty years ago, Sleeva has been involved in the development and growth of the school. Sleeva has also been a catalyst for Calvary Tabernacle’s Jesus House program, an inner-city outreach that takes Jesus and the church to the neighborhoods, offering tutoring and mentoring programs in addition to non-traditional, “out of the box” approaches to evangelism. Sleeva also serves on the board of Calvary Tabernacle and as a mentor to the Calvary Youth and Young Adult groups.

Sleeva’s history is as eclectic as his current interests: at age 16, he volunteered at the Pleasant Run Children’s Home, and at the age of 20, embarked on a trip to Germany that resulted in a mission’s effort that lasted 15 years, rather than the intended 3 month survey. Each time I hear him speak, he has a story or an illustration, recounting an experience that is deep in value and full of wisdom, applicable to situations far beyond my own.

As a young person growing up around Sleeva, I remember his work with and efforts to connect with a group of young people dubbed as “unlikelies.” Says Sleeva, “I like the challenge of trying to connect to people who are not like me.” He is the primary force behind the jail ministry, and is working to create programs to enable reentry, offering a sort of halfway house for convicts to come in, learn job skills, coping skills, and create a familial environment to foster a spirit of encouragement and success. “People from [a gang or criminal background] come from a broken family system. We [the church] need to create a new corrected family so they can have healing,” Sleeva explains.

Sleeva’s nontraditional ministries are coupled with a nontraditional approach. He is well versed in traditional “church speak,” and can clearly explain and teach doctrine when necessary, but he much prefers language like “this way cool thing that Jesus did” or “a huge green light in my spiritual vibes.” For some fifty-somethings, this kind of language feels forced, but with Sleeva, it fits. You really understand this is just who he is.

Sleeva’s ministry is to the fringe, and with this group, measuring success can be difficult. Success, for Sleeva, is “seeing them [the Unlikelies] respond to you. To connect to someone who doesn’t expect you to be interested.” He does it, he says, because “it felt like the right thing to do, whether they respond the way you would like them to or not.” You can’t measure success just in terms of numbers and immediate responses. Sometimes it takes years for someone to finally respond.

One example is a close friend of mine, Juan Lopez. Originally, Sleeva had been doing Bible studies with Juan’s brother, and Juan had always responded with hostility towards Sleeva. When Juan’s car broke down, Sleeva spent hours with Juan, working for free on his car, building a relationship of trust and respect. Juan was arrested, and was suddenly receptive to what Sleeva had to offer. While Juan was in prison, Sleeva orchestrated a work scholarship for Juan at IBC. Now, Juan is married, a leading salesman with his company, and an active minister at Calvary.

As a teenager in the youth group, I remember sitting around, hearing wild tales about Jim Sleeva and his exploits. While many of the myths have been dispelled, the mystery of Sleeva will never fade. He’s a strange missionary, doing far more than is expected, and accomplishing far more than anyone could ever know.

exodus

My feet ache. I’ve been running for two days, stopping only for moments to eat. I haven't slept since I left because the king is chasing me. I can hear the thunder of the horses and the rumble of chariots growing closer and louder with each passing hour. I’ve brought nothing with me, save a few golden trinkets from my neighbors. I have the clothes on my back, the shoes on my feet, and a dream. A dream of freedom, of a land where I can raise my children and they can run and play without fear. A dream of a land where I can set up a small crop farm, or maybe develop a craft, and make a living for myself. A dream of a place where I can worship my God freely, and sacrifice, and live according to His commandments and His law.

My legs burn, my feet hurt, and my heart is racing. I stop for a breath, and I can hear the pounding of the horses closer than ever before. I look back to see the dust raising. Ahead is a river, so I begin to run to the left, only to find that it turns back towards the king. I turn and run to the right and see the chariots and the army flanking me.

I can smell the horses now; I can hear the obscenities being hurled at me by the army. I’m facing the army and back up as they close in on my, drawing closer and closer to the river. Looking over my shoulder, I see that the water is twenty yards behind me. I turn and run, watching the mass of humanity begin to charge. As I run frantically towards the water, I cry out to God. "Save me."

I never take my eyes from the king as he leads the charge towards me. I keep running towards the water, hoping to swim to safety. Any moment now, I’ll reach the water and dive for safety. A wind begins to blow from behind me, giving me an additional boost of energy beyond the rush of adrenaline that is flowing through my veins. This next step and I should be at the water. My feet don't seem to be working, because I never reach the shore. I finally look ahead, and see the water rolling back with each step. I’m ten yards into the riverbed, twenty yards, thirty yards, and as I keep running, I can see the shore on the other side. Another gust of wind from behind gives me an additional burst of speed, and I hear a crashing and screaming behind me. I look over my shoulder to see the water crashing down over the king and his chariots. A giant wave is closing in on me as I frantically run to the shore.

"How ironic," I think to myself. "To escape the king's wrath, only to suffer the same death as he." I continue to push myself, but my legs can't carry me any farther. I drop the sack of the golden trinkets and with my last ounce of strength, I dive forward, face-first into the sand. As I close my eyes and weep, I brace for the impact of the water. I feel it gently lap over my feet, and I look back to see the river - calm, peaceful, as if nothing had ever happened. The waves lap and the sack of trinkets washes ashore at my feet. Around me, the ground is covered in white excess, and there are quails sitting and watching me. The white excess is falling from the sky, and as one touches gently on my lips, I taste the sweet, honey wafer and feel refreshed.

I’m free.

trying to be ...

lately, i've been thinking about what it means to really be a christian - christlike - and how arrogant it is for me to say "i'm a christian" or "i'm like christ". very rarely, it seems, does my behaviour actually reflect christ. now, i'm a good pentecostal, but that's only a sunday/wednesday thing. i want to learn to be a christian.

i was reading in 1 corinthians, looking at The Message (one of my favourite translations) and i came to chapter 13:

1 If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. 2 If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. 3 If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.

verse one also says, "though i speak with tongues of men and angels ..." in the KJV. i need to learn to love. not in the "i love you mom" sort of way, but have a genuine, compassionate, selfless love for everyone i meet. i want to learn to be nicer. i want to learn to be a christian, every day, everywhere i go. i want to reflect christ in everything i do. i want people to see me, and think about me, and say, "he's a christian."

i'm selfish; christ is selfless. that's the biggest difference.